1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
2. When and how did you first decide you were heterosexual?
3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you might grow out of?
4. Is it possible that you heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of
the same sex?
5. Isn't it possible you just haven't found the right same-sex partner yet?
6. Do you think you might have turned to heterosexuality out of fear of rejection?
7. If heterosexuality is so normal, why are a disproportionate number of mental patients heterosexual?
8. Your heterosexuality doesn't offend me as long as you don't try to force it on me. Why do you people keep trying to seduce others into your sexual orientation?
9. The greatest number of child molesters are heterosexual. Do you really think it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers?
10. Why do you insist on making such a public spectacle of your heterosexuality? Can't you just be what you are and keep it quiet?
Based on the questionnaire developed by Dr Martin Rochlin (1977).
Monday, October 19, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Celebrating peace
On the 6th of November I'm going to be attending a talk by Israeli students who are refusing to join the military after school. In Israel, that will mean two years in prison. The event in Pretoria is hosted by the End Conscription Campaign who were also active during Apartheid when we had forced military service in South Africa.
The thought that eighteen year old girls and boys (picture your own daughter and son) would have to pick up a weapon and engage in acts of violence against their will seems unthinkable in the twenty-first century. But beyond that, these Israeli students are protesting what they feel is an injustice enacted by their government. Read more about it in this article.
My study supervisor once pointed out the irony that in peace time you are jailed for murder but in times of war you can be jailed for refusing to kill. The 6th of November is my thirtieth birthday and it seemed an apt way to celebrate it in a small act of protest against conscription, against injustice, against violence and against war. Or perhaps I'd rather say that on the day of my thirtieth year on this planet I want to celebrate peace and the potential of the human race to become more humane.
The thought that eighteen year old girls and boys (picture your own daughter and son) would have to pick up a weapon and engage in acts of violence against their will seems unthinkable in the twenty-first century. But beyond that, these Israeli students are protesting what they feel is an injustice enacted by their government. Read more about it in this article.
My study supervisor once pointed out the irony that in peace time you are jailed for murder but in times of war you can be jailed for refusing to kill. The 6th of November is my thirtieth birthday and it seemed an apt way to celebrate it in a small act of protest against conscription, against injustice, against violence and against war. Or perhaps I'd rather say that on the day of my thirtieth year on this planet I want to celebrate peace and the potential of the human race to become more humane.
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
My journey with the Church
Due to recent ecumenical experiences I’ve been thinking about my journey with the Church. My first eighteen years were spent in the Reformed church. It was a mission church set up by missionaries from the Reformed church in Holland and had loose links to the Reformed (Dopper) church in South Africa. I remember on odd occasions visiting the Afrikaans Dopper kerk, having to wear a dress and being in a frighteningly formal environment! I also remember exciting, although lengthy, encounters with the rural Zulu churches the Reformed missionaries had planted, which were filled with a lot of singing and very long sermons.
During these growing up years, we lived in a small village where there was a lot of ecumenical interaction and I was exposed to the Anglicans, Methodists and Presbyterians. The feeling I had of these groups (I’m not sure where I got this from) is that they were all very good people doing some great things but that they had a slightly loose relationship with Biblical truth! I remember in my teenage years the Charismatics coming to town to bring the revival all the other churches active in the area were, according to them, failing to bring. Although I’m sure these new kids on the block irritated every other church in the village, I remember finding Friday night events they organized quite fun, especially their singing which they rather excitingly termed ‘worship’.
On starting my student career, I joined the Baptist church, mostly because both my brother and his good looking friend who I had my eye on, attended that church (yes, that friend is now my husband, Kevin!). I had a very vague and disconnected experience of the church, which may explain why, after three years of attending it a man sitting next to me asked if I was visiting that day. But I remember really enjoying the church’s weekly student Bible study where we had a lot of deep and searching conversations. During that time I was also part of an interdenominational student group on campus, which probably played a greater role in my spiritual formation. I also visited Grace Fellowship, which remains one of my favourite churches in terms of its high levels of creativity and relevance. I didn’t agree with much of its teaching (especially around the position of women and finances) but found they responded to their context better than any other church I’ve experienced before or since. Grace Fellowship would probably be identified as a Charismatic church although I think they termed themselves non-denominational.
After this I spent some three years in the Pentecostal church, Assembly of God. This was a very positive church experience, mostly because of the teaching, which spoke directly to where I was at and the mentoring I received from the pastor there. I also appreciated the sensitivity there was to the Holy Spirit, and to the possibility of God working outside of the box. Of course there’s a lot of room for error with this kind of openness, but also room for a lot of blessing and growth.
From here I moved to Pretoria and joined the Baptist church, where I’ve experienced the highest sense of community in all my church experiences. Where my everyday life always seemed rather divorced from church, I currently find that my church community is the same community I interact with in my daily life. Although this has been a major plus, perhaps due to my diverse experiences I sometimes find myself looking for something a little more on the edge. This may have led me to become involved with a group that would probably describe themselves as post-denominational and emergent, which is wonderfully open to diversity, creativity and new possibilities but sometimes lacks the strong stability and structure that I find myself nevertheless seeking.
My most recent church experience has been with an ecumenical group of mostly Catholics and Anglicans, with some Methodists and Presbyterians. This is my first encounter with Catholicism and I even have had the opportunity to participate in the Catholic Mass on several occasions. I’ve appreciated the tremendous sense of the movement with the ages through the strong tradition of the Catholic Church. It gives a wonderful structure in its deep rituals, and a rich symbolism which allows one to engage God with not just the mind but also the senses.
All these many church experiences, from Charismatic to Catholic, from Reformed to Methodist, have left me with the conviction that all churches represent important aspects of the Body of Christ. I would like to position myself as ecumenical, or non-denominational, or post-denominational as that would probably most accurately describe the diversity of my experiences. I find it hard to identify with one denomination more than with another, as each seems richly gifted but each also has major pitfalls or weaknesses. At some level I have a desire to attach myself to a particular tradition and find my home there, but until now, I would rather see myself as at home in the Church but denominationally homeless. How about you?
During these growing up years, we lived in a small village where there was a lot of ecumenical interaction and I was exposed to the Anglicans, Methodists and Presbyterians. The feeling I had of these groups (I’m not sure where I got this from) is that they were all very good people doing some great things but that they had a slightly loose relationship with Biblical truth! I remember in my teenage years the Charismatics coming to town to bring the revival all the other churches active in the area were, according to them, failing to bring. Although I’m sure these new kids on the block irritated every other church in the village, I remember finding Friday night events they organized quite fun, especially their singing which they rather excitingly termed ‘worship’.
On starting my student career, I joined the Baptist church, mostly because both my brother and his good looking friend who I had my eye on, attended that church (yes, that friend is now my husband, Kevin!). I had a very vague and disconnected experience of the church, which may explain why, after three years of attending it a man sitting next to me asked if I was visiting that day. But I remember really enjoying the church’s weekly student Bible study where we had a lot of deep and searching conversations. During that time I was also part of an interdenominational student group on campus, which probably played a greater role in my spiritual formation. I also visited Grace Fellowship, which remains one of my favourite churches in terms of its high levels of creativity and relevance. I didn’t agree with much of its teaching (especially around the position of women and finances) but found they responded to their context better than any other church I’ve experienced before or since. Grace Fellowship would probably be identified as a Charismatic church although I think they termed themselves non-denominational.
After this I spent some three years in the Pentecostal church, Assembly of God. This was a very positive church experience, mostly because of the teaching, which spoke directly to where I was at and the mentoring I received from the pastor there. I also appreciated the sensitivity there was to the Holy Spirit, and to the possibility of God working outside of the box. Of course there’s a lot of room for error with this kind of openness, but also room for a lot of blessing and growth.
From here I moved to Pretoria and joined the Baptist church, where I’ve experienced the highest sense of community in all my church experiences. Where my everyday life always seemed rather divorced from church, I currently find that my church community is the same community I interact with in my daily life. Although this has been a major plus, perhaps due to my diverse experiences I sometimes find myself looking for something a little more on the edge. This may have led me to become involved with a group that would probably describe themselves as post-denominational and emergent, which is wonderfully open to diversity, creativity and new possibilities but sometimes lacks the strong stability and structure that I find myself nevertheless seeking.
My most recent church experience has been with an ecumenical group of mostly Catholics and Anglicans, with some Methodists and Presbyterians. This is my first encounter with Catholicism and I even have had the opportunity to participate in the Catholic Mass on several occasions. I’ve appreciated the tremendous sense of the movement with the ages through the strong tradition of the Catholic Church. It gives a wonderful structure in its deep rituals, and a rich symbolism which allows one to engage God with not just the mind but also the senses.
All these many church experiences, from Charismatic to Catholic, from Reformed to Methodist, have left me with the conviction that all churches represent important aspects of the Body of Christ. I would like to position myself as ecumenical, or non-denominational, or post-denominational as that would probably most accurately describe the diversity of my experiences. I find it hard to identify with one denomination more than with another, as each seems richly gifted but each also has major pitfalls or weaknesses. At some level I have a desire to attach myself to a particular tradition and find my home there, but until now, I would rather see myself as at home in the Church but denominationally homeless. How about you?
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Inspirational Christian bloggers
Here are some blogs I've been following:
The Jesuite Institute in South Africa has a blog which several of the Jesuits and Ignatians write for, primarily about current affairs in South Africa. I find their discussions relevant and insightful, giving a thinking Christians response to politics, crime, governance and the like.
On Journeying with those in Exile may be a similar type of blog in the US context. Dan is a follower of Jesus who deeply engages the issues in his world, challenging fellow Christians to respond more thoughtfully and with greater action in our contexts.
I've also really appreciated Steve Hayes blog although his posts are quite long! Writing from an Eastern Orthodox perspective, Steve's well-researched thoughts on South Africa, the Church and our times gives a lot of food for thought.
These blogs give me hope that there are a lot of people that follow Jesus passionately but think deeply about the world around them and engage the world actively and intentionally with a desire to make a difference. They inspire me and make me excited about being part of something really good.
The Jesuite Institute in South Africa has a blog which several of the Jesuits and Ignatians write for, primarily about current affairs in South Africa. I find their discussions relevant and insightful, giving a thinking Christians response to politics, crime, governance and the like.
On Journeying with those in Exile may be a similar type of blog in the US context. Dan is a follower of Jesus who deeply engages the issues in his world, challenging fellow Christians to respond more thoughtfully and with greater action in our contexts.
I've also really appreciated Steve Hayes blog although his posts are quite long! Writing from an Eastern Orthodox perspective, Steve's well-researched thoughts on South Africa, the Church and our times gives a lot of food for thought.
These blogs give me hope that there are a lot of people that follow Jesus passionately but think deeply about the world around them and engage the world actively and intentionally with a desire to make a difference. They inspire me and make me excited about being part of something really good.
Monday, September 21, 2009
International Peace Day
Today is International Peace Day. Officially, on this day, there should be a global ceasefire and as a result thousands of lives are saved. For those of us living in countries free of war it may be difficult to understand the significance of this or feel the need to celebrate such a day. But for those of us who are used to waking up to the sound of gunfire and shelling, a day of peace amidst the chaos is a miracle.
Apart from silencing the guns of war for a day, Peace Day brings to our attention the need for peace in our homes, our schools and our communities. As long as there is poverty, as long as there is injustice, as long as there is enmity between people there is no peace.
Let's join with hundreds of thousands of people across the world to celebrate a day without war. But let's also commit on this day to contribute to peace, by bringing about reconciliation in our personal relationships, reaching out to people we wouldn't normally reach out to, adding goodness and love to the lives of others, and taking action against the little injustices we see on a daily basis.
As Alice Walker writes, "You must live in the world today as you wish everyone to live in the world to come. That can be your contribution."
Apart from silencing the guns of war for a day, Peace Day brings to our attention the need for peace in our homes, our schools and our communities. As long as there is poverty, as long as there is injustice, as long as there is enmity between people there is no peace.
Let's join with hundreds of thousands of people across the world to celebrate a day without war. But let's also commit on this day to contribute to peace, by bringing about reconciliation in our personal relationships, reaching out to people we wouldn't normally reach out to, adding goodness and love to the lives of others, and taking action against the little injustices we see on a daily basis.
As Alice Walker writes, "You must live in the world today as you wish everyone to live in the world to come. That can be your contribution."
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Our marriage story
A number of people have asked how Kevin and I, an atheist and a Christian, ended up getting married, so I thought I’d share the story here on my blog.
We met during my first year at university in 1998, when we were both part of the Student Christian Organization (SCO) on our campus. During one SCO meeting we were encouraged to find a prayer or accountability partner in the group and I happened to be sitting near to Kevin, a friend of my brother, and so we chose each other. I remember one of the first things Kevin said to me was that he often felt his prayers hit the ceiling. I was immediately drawn by this as it seemed that amongst a lot of Christians who were pretending to have it all together, here was someone who had the courage to be authentic.
I had been brought up with a strong leaning towards critical thinking and questioning everything from within a Christian context. Kevin had been brought up not to ask too many questions and just to believe and obey on blind faith. I think my constant questioning surprised and unnerved him somewhat, whereas his rather simple belief seemed to me frustrating and out of sync with the rest of him. Kevin has always had a highly creative, philosophical way of thinking which he applied to every area of his life and led to fascinating conversations between us. But he didn’t apply it to his faith, and it seemed that his Christian beliefs weren’t being integrated into who he was or was becoming.
When Kevin started to lose his faith some four years later, it was very threatening and frightening for me. It was at a time when my own faith was going through a slightly fundamentalist, gung-ho sort of phase. We would have heated, fiery debates that went beyond the validity of the arguments to the far deeper issues of identity. While we were discussing evolution versus creationism, the existence of God, morality outside of religion and so on, what we were really trying to thrash out was who we were apart from each other and in relationship to one another.
It took us about another three years to come to a peace with one another. When we got married at the end of 2004, Kevin was a declared atheist. But by then we had both mellowed and developed a deep respect and admiration for the people we had become, rather than for the arguments we each held. It seems to me in retrospect that Kevin’s particular package of Christianity was stunting his personal growth. I love the person he has grown to become as he has grappled with the more meaty things in life. I love the person I’ve become as I’ve had to grapple with a perspective so different from my own, and all the doubts, questions, identity issues and fears that has brought up for me. I hope that Kevin will meet God again, free from all the baggage of his previous understanding of Christianity. But that’s between him and God. For now, I’m just grateful for the way we’ve grown, for the people we’ve become and for the richness and diversity that our relationship holds.
We met during my first year at university in 1998, when we were both part of the Student Christian Organization (SCO) on our campus. During one SCO meeting we were encouraged to find a prayer or accountability partner in the group and I happened to be sitting near to Kevin, a friend of my brother, and so we chose each other. I remember one of the first things Kevin said to me was that he often felt his prayers hit the ceiling. I was immediately drawn by this as it seemed that amongst a lot of Christians who were pretending to have it all together, here was someone who had the courage to be authentic.
I had been brought up with a strong leaning towards critical thinking and questioning everything from within a Christian context. Kevin had been brought up not to ask too many questions and just to believe and obey on blind faith. I think my constant questioning surprised and unnerved him somewhat, whereas his rather simple belief seemed to me frustrating and out of sync with the rest of him. Kevin has always had a highly creative, philosophical way of thinking which he applied to every area of his life and led to fascinating conversations between us. But he didn’t apply it to his faith, and it seemed that his Christian beliefs weren’t being integrated into who he was or was becoming.
When Kevin started to lose his faith some four years later, it was very threatening and frightening for me. It was at a time when my own faith was going through a slightly fundamentalist, gung-ho sort of phase. We would have heated, fiery debates that went beyond the validity of the arguments to the far deeper issues of identity. While we were discussing evolution versus creationism, the existence of God, morality outside of religion and so on, what we were really trying to thrash out was who we were apart from each other and in relationship to one another.
It took us about another three years to come to a peace with one another. When we got married at the end of 2004, Kevin was a declared atheist. But by then we had both mellowed and developed a deep respect and admiration for the people we had become, rather than for the arguments we each held. It seems to me in retrospect that Kevin’s particular package of Christianity was stunting his personal growth. I love the person he has grown to become as he has grappled with the more meaty things in life. I love the person I’ve become as I’ve had to grapple with a perspective so different from my own, and all the doubts, questions, identity issues and fears that has brought up for me. I hope that Kevin will meet God again, free from all the baggage of his previous understanding of Christianity. But that’s between him and God. For now, I’m just grateful for the way we’ve grown, for the people we’ve become and for the richness and diversity that our relationship holds.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
